Change has been all of those things for me. Scary, new, unfamiliar, uncomfortable and, of course, intimidating. While I was under the impression I loved and embraced change, I forgot what it was like to be a freshman in college three years ago. Everything I had known for 18 years, four months, three weeks and two days vanished on my first day of college. I was four hours away from home. My best friends I had known for the majority of my life were gone, my parents were gone, my sister, my life. Gone.
I spent my first weekend of college at home, and similarly I spent my first weekend in Rochester at home. I didn't notice the similarity until I sat by myself that first Sunday night in Rochester listening to some of my college freshman tunes (Vampire Weekend and Walk the Moon were the soundtrack of 2013) and was alone. I hadn't spoken to anyone since I left my family because my two roommates were working and not often home at night, and my freshman roommate was never around on weekends. I went to college to get an education and I came to Rochester to gain work experience as intern for "(585) Magazine." All too similar.
I was thrown into college. I wasn't eased in. It was truthfully not easy for me. I knew no one and I didn't want to know anyone. That's how I felt about Rochester. I would joke about the amount of magazines I read within my first week here because I didn't have a job or any friends besides my roommates therefore copious amounts of spare time. But that changed. I got two jobs (and had my internship), explored the city, saw the local hangs, made my roommates do things with me and saw a few hometown friends while I was here.
My time in Rochester was short but never to be forgotten. As much as I say I've been on my own these past three years in Boston and college, this was the first time I truly lived on my own; paying monthly rent, buying groceries and attempting to afford gas for my car. I was at an everyday struggle with myself here. When is a good time to leave my internship? Am I doing the right thing? Shouldn't I be saving my money and savoring my last summer vacation before senior year of college? This is my last summer before senior year. This is the last summer vacation I have followed by the last school year I will ever attend. It's the last summer I can sleep in during the week. The last summer I can lounge around on day offs and get away with it.
I had fun here in Rochester even if at times I felt like I was wasting my time and should have been home. Today was the last day of my internship and I'm still not sure how I feel about my time there. I got to see every step of a magazine and I'm grateful for that. A new place and journey comes with a lot of firsts and I love experiencing things for the first time. I ate an omelette, dyed my hair, rode the bus, saw an abandoned subway system, shotgunned a beer, went to a latte art competition, lived with two boys and two cats (honestly it was harder to live with cats than boys), and overall experienced life in a different light. There are so many lasts because it's my last summer vacation, but those are followed by so many firsts. I'm excited for my senior year to start, to get back to a city I love and friends I have missed. I'm excited (and extremely anxious) to see what I'll be doing after graduation, who I'll be with and where I'll end up. Hello, Goodbye.