I never thought this would happen. I don't know if I've ever been so genuinely scared or saddened by something that was so out of my control. And that's the thing, for the first time ever, this Presidential election was in my control. I voted in my first Presidential election and this is the outcome. A racist, sexist, homophobic, orange bigot who doesn't even have a proper toupee.
I am ashamed to be an American, I'm numb to the pain, I'm terrified, I'm devastated, I'm heartbroken, I'm hopeless. Everyone remembers where they are when they hear bad news. I was asleep and one of the guys I live with banged on my door at 2:45 a.m. telling me the news and I slammed the door in his face and went back to bed and promptly cried for the next two hours. I am emotionally drained. I never thought this would happen.
I'm worried about the Supreme Court, the LGBTQ community, my minority friends, immigrants. My grandfather was an immigrant and anyone who knows me knows how important he was to me and how much of an influence he had over me. He was so full of life and fully lived the American dream every immigrant desired. How can you not allow a person to come to this country to work for a better life? This country is based off immigrants and refugees and a better tomorrow, but there is no better tomorrow. Trump says he wants to "prioritize the interests of Americans first." How are immigrants and refugees not Americans? How is building a wall building a better life? Send them home? This is home.
Last September I wrote about how I wasn't voting Republican and how I never really took Trump seriously. The year 1928 was the last time Republicans had the White House, Senate and the House and what followed that great year was the Great Depression.
I cried today. I cried because this election isn't good for this country. This isn't good for LBGTQ, for Muslims, Latinx, for blacks, sexual assault survivor, women, those who are oppressed, those who are part of a minority. This isn't good for the future. I cry today because there is no American dream left for my immigrant grandfather and anyone who is coming after him. The sun came up today. Today there is love, acceptance, gratitude and community. I'm not sure I've ever woken up with so much fear, sadness and uncertainty before. The strides these past eight years might be destroyed, which means basic human rights have been destroyed.
What happens now? I feel sick. My body feels physically weak and my mind is empty. The EPA won't exist in a few years, human rights won't exist in a few years. Where are we going? Yesterday we voted for conversion therapy of LBGTQ citizens, deportation of immigrants. We didn't vote for a forward way of thinking. Has America ever been great? It was on its way to greatness but I'm not so sure now.
If you've talked to me within the last eight years, you know I love President Barack Obama. I have a framed photo of him in my bedroom and would never speak ill of him. He is a legendary and revolutionary president who will go down in history. President Barack Obama today said, "Don't get cynical. Don't ever think you can't make a difference...fighting for what is right is worth it." Thank you President Barack Obama for the last eight years.