"I
thought that I was dreaming when you said you loved me," sings Frank Ocean
on "Ivy." I thought that I was dreaming too.
I like to tell
people we met through a mutual friend. You liked to say I followed
you around a party. Both are true. I didn't love him back (or at least didn't
say it back) and he was fine with that. He didn't dwell on the fact I didn't
say it and we weren't awkward about it. But he was the first boy to ever tell
me he loved me so I thought about it a lot. I would be at work and get
butterflies in my stomach thinking about how there was a boy out there who
loved me. It was a "if you're hearing this it's too late" type of
situation.
Our
relationship was a trainwreck and dysfunctional. I broke his heart once and he
broke my heart ten times after that. We are a lot alike so maybe that's why we
didn't work out. He was an emotional Libra while I was a headstrong, no
bullshit Aries. Through all this we had our moments. I would hear indie-rock love
songs and think of him and always want him by my side.
I will admit,
this blog post is inspired by the worst possible scenario: Drake is dating
a woman who is not Rihanna. At the VMAs in August, Drake publicly
announced his love for Rihanna and a million girls went into cardiac arrest.
Not so much because we are jealous of Rihanna, but how Drake did it. While presenting her with an award he said,
"We love the woman who hasn’t changed since day one. She’s
someone I’ve been in love with since I was 22 years old. She’s one of my best
friends in the world. All my adult life, I’ve looked up to her even though
she’s younger than me."
It would have just been easier to kill me, Drake.
My friends and I obsessed for weeks tagging each other in Aubrih memes on
Instagram and I even changed my Facebook cover photo to the feature photo of
this post. The two had a public whirlwind romance but now Drake is dating another woman only after ending things with Rihanna two months ago and after declaring an undying love to her. I just have to say to Drake: how dare you. You led us all on. We trusted you. We know that's not acting in the "Work" music video!!! You rented out an entire aquarium for her and this is what you do next. Sounds all too familiar.
But he and I were Sid and Nancy. One of us would have ended up killing the other. But I don't regret anything that happened between us and I know he doesn't either. I know that if I ever want to invite him back into my life I can because he still means something to me. But he was always so presumptuous about us and then those words felt like such a senseless sentiment. I didn't believe he loved me and I actually told him this (which ultimately ended our friendship and relationship) and he was in a new relationship two months later. Familiar.
But let me ask the question we've all been wanting to ask: will there ever be another Drake and Rihanna collaboration?