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B: I met him as the spring semester of junior year of college was ending. We tried to spend as much time together as possible - and we did - connected at the hip. We worked in the same area and had a couple of mutual friends so it wasn't hard. I would meet him after work, or even would visit each other during and take a walk around the block. He brought me flowers to work once as a surprise and it is still one of my favorite memories. We had so many plans.
We got in a fight and and I was about to spend the summer away for three months. I said, "See you in September" when he didn't want to meet up with me the night before I left. I slept with someone else that night and never told him. We "made up." I spent the entire summer thinking about how I would have a boyfriend when I went back to college, how we would be attached at the hip again (eventually was on-again, off-again) and how easy it would be. Spent every second thinking about him. I worked in a restaurant that summer and whenever I saw couples sitting on the same side of the booth I thought of him. I thought, "right person, wrong time."
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F: Exactly one month to the day of living in New York City. This should have been the right time. I wasn't going anywhere! We clicked instantly. Talking about everything and anything. He told me he was going away for the summer...and then the next nine months. We spent the next five of seven days together. I believed "right person, wrong time."
He spent the summer away and we FaceTime'd at least once a day, but usually twice a day. Once on my lunch break and once before bed. Always texted and sent funny articles and memes to each other. We understand each other on a different and more sincere level. I believed in the cliche. I called him "my 'second first love.'" You told me about your hopes and dreams and how you wanted to change the world. We spent another seven days together before the summer ended. I was happy. I asked you if I should wait for you while you're away. You said no, it was too long and I said it was the "wrong time."
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D: You. You, I thought you were the one. The biggest right person, wrong time. Another person I clicked with instantly. Talking about music, books, jobs, travel, family, it all. I always thought about bringing you home and you meeting my mom when she visited, thought about the summer together, the future together. You told me about your mom and I told you about my family. I wanted you to be my family.
We had a great month together. I got drunk and told you that you were the one. I told you the same thing weeks later, and sober. You agreed both times. The second month you got a new job. You loved your new job. I loved that you loved your new job. I told you I wanted that for myself one day. It made me happy. You had been out of college eight years and waited eight years for a job like this. Everything changed. You were no longer the right person. Just wrong timing.
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It was bliss.
What I've learned literally within this month is that they have all been the wrong person. The right person would meet up with me at 10 p.m. the night before I spend three months away, agree that I should wait for them and make time for me even though their new job is time-consuming. But there is no right person, wrong time. If you wanted me to be the right person, you would make the time.
I was the wrong person for them.
I'm sad for what could have been. I am sad you cannot see how wonderful I am. How much I wanted to give you everything. I wanted to be an "us." I created something in my head for all of these men. At age 21, 23 and 24. I have learned and am still learning this lesson. If you are wanted, it will be known. I got my heart broken twice in six months. Back-to-back champions! But I am so fucking grateful.